A Suicide is Born

A Suicide is Born

A Treacherous Story


220px-A_Star_is_BornPam and I went to see the movie “A Star is Born,” written & directed by Bradley Cooper. He was also the lead actor. His co-star is Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta, known professionally as Lady Gaga.  The movie tells the story of Jackson Maine, played by Bradley Cooper, a legendary rock star and Ally, played by Lady Gaga, a 31-year-old musician.  Their story begins at a nightclub where Jackson ended up one night after performing at a concert and a night of drinking.  He meets Ally who has relegated herself to singing someone else’s songs at a bar because she feels this may be the ceiling of her career.  Partly due to her lack of confidence and feelings of insecurity.  There is a connection made that night between the two characters, which is the beginning of what I would call a very treacherous story.  Bradley has taken a pen and a pad and made this script so real that I was almost unable to make it through the entire film.   I cannot think of one single movie that has made me feel the way this movie did.

This post is not intended to be a review.  I merely want to share my thoughts on how Bradley tackles addiction in this script and ultimately how the story ends.  

Why do people kill themselves?  Does the fantasy of escaping the torment they must be living in become too appealing?  I don’t have an answer for you, but I do know that people commit suicide.  The consequences are everlasting and obviously cannot be reversed.  Consuming this movie has caused me great discomfort in a way that I will not entirely be able to describe.

Feelings of hopelessness are not new to me.  Feelings of insecurity and fear are feelings that I have dealt with in my life.  I am taking an extraordinary risk sharing this here, but I feel too strongly about the subject matter to stay silent.  In my 42 years on this earth, there was a time where I lived daily with a feeling of impending doom.  It seems like just yesterday.  I understand feeling like you have been skinned alive and thrown in the ocean.  There were many nights that I hoped that I would never wake up.  I felt that it was the only way to make things right with everyone I had done wrong. Someone chose a different path for me.  I do not know why God chose me, but He did.  I still feel the guilt. Like a survivor of a plane crash. I made it out alive while others did not. I have had four best friends in my life.  3 of them are dead.  I often ask God, why me? God always has the same answer.  Why not you? Jeremiah 29:11. 

Addiction is real.  So is suicide.  If addiction is not dealt with, addiction deals with you.  It is strong, cunning and it is baffling.  So many see those who are addicted to drugs and alcohol as being weak minded or without willpower.  These assumptions are false and only contribute to the problem rather than the solution.  Hope can be fleeting.  It is not something that comes to everyone.  It is not dropped in your lap like a present on Christmas morning.  You have to accept it.  You have to own it. It becomes a choice.  You have to surrender to the fact that you can’t do it on your own.  You have to extend your hand out which takes tremendous courage.

The message I want to convey is that there is hope and there is a solution.  If you feel like you want to kill yourself, please understand that there are people who know what you are feeling, and there is help and hope for you.  There is a suicide hotline that you need to call RIGHT NOW – 1-800-273-8255.  Also, on Monday nights at Faith Promise Church, we have a great evening of celebrating that help and that hope.  This could be a perfect first step to the rest of your life.  You can also contact me below, and I will help you today.  This movie is not for everyone.  If I had known the ending, I would not have watched it. It is too dangerous for me.  I would recommend that you not watch this movie if suicide makes you uncomfortable.  Sorry for the long post, but I needed to get this off my chest.


Tennessee Suicide Prevention Network





2 comments on “A Suicide is Born

  1. Jessica Calfee says:

    Thank you for posting about this movie. I am glad to know in advance that this is not a movie I need to see.

  2. Dante L Moore says:

    AbsolutelyWowwwww!! Absolutely powerful words and description and knowing the life we both have lived and the people and things we’ve seen along the way, I can completely understand why this movie would make you feel uncomfortable at best. I have struggled with all of those same feelings you mentioned, in my life. The insecurity, the fear, the drowning hopelessness… I honestly wish I could say all of it was in the past but it isn’t. There are times/memories, events and people that will forever haunt me so to speak. Those encounters had a lasting impression on my psyche so much so that even I don’t fully understand it all to this day even with the amount of research and knowledge I’ve put behind it. And sadly Ive lost hundreds of people in this life to addiction and suicide or both. Like you, Kevin, I’ve often wondered and asked why I’m still the one here when others aren’t. Or why I’m not one of the ones that allowed addiction to take over my life. I’m still not certain I have the answers to those questions to this day but I do know there is a reason I am still here and I have a path i am to take in this life that He will reveal to me when the time comes. What I found most powerful in your review aside from the revelation of your innermost feelings I was unaware of, is the truth that the masses believe addiction to be for the weak minded and those without opportunity. As if some sort of punishment for what strength and courage they lack when in reality it can and will take anyone regardless of gender, race, religion, wealth, etc and if you are a person who hasn’t directly been affected in some way either directly from your own trials and tribulations or indirectly to someone you love dearly being affected by it, I truly envy you. I wouldn’t wish that life or circumstance upon those whom others would feel deserve it most.

    I am however, very grateful you took the time and courage to speak your mind and feelings about this movie. Like I said earlier to you, I was very curious about this one and wanted to see it but i think given the circumstances and how real the outcome is portrayed, I should probably sit this one out. I have lived that life first hand and have gone to tremendous lengths to put it as far behind me as i could. I certainly don’t want to be put back into that vulnerable place emotionally intentionally because it was a Hell I thought I would never escape alive. No truer words were ever spoken when you said its like being skinned alive and thrown into the ocean. That’s powerful. You have every knock against you, you feel like you couldn’t possibly make it out alive and in the end… you lose hope because of it. And you’re in a very sad and lonely place once you lose hope. I know. Far too well.

    I don’t have the answer as to why people take their own lives, as you said above as well. But I can relate to an extent. When you’re left with the feeling that you cannot go on in life status quo and you have the crushing realization that there is no help for you in this life, you feel backed into a corner and the idealization of suicide then becomes a glorious freedom to the jail cell that is your life. Its alarmingly enticing. And for everyone, their reasons can be vastly different, I can only speak for myself and what I’ve experienced firsthand. I have, however, been very lucky to have support and love from people around me that I was given a proverbial life jacket and pulled from my dark place to be given another chance at life. However there are still those who aren’t as fortunate and sadly, not everyone wants to be saved.

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